I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
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