So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
