When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
