Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My dick has a subreddit
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
