If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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