no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
