Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
