I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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