every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
