Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
