Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
