So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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