I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
