Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
