I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
