he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
