I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
