the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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