i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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