Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
