physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Randomize
