you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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