his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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