She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
