mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
