Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
