It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
