Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Randomize
