I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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