the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
