it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
