Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Randomize