He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
