True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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