Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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