Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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