If that was your dad, he is hot
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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