so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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