so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
