i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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