Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
How's work?
Spinning.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
