i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
