he shaved USA in his pubs
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
