He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
