So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just pee around me
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
