You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
