Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
