WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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