Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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