We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize