i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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