Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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