Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
