I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Operation Purity has been aborted
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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