Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
