Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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