I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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