my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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