You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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