Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
